A few nights ago, I felt compelled to express how I feel about gender on a personal level. I’ve decided to expand it just a bit.
For a pretty long time, I’ve always rejected the idea that I “can’t” do something because it wouldn’t be “manly” (for example, have a certain hair cut or act a certain way) and when thinking about myself, I don’t really like being called feminine (because it is often aimed as an insult) but I’m not really sure what it even means to be masculine or feminine.
In my mind, there’s a lot of stereotypes that could fit in those boxes but it feels pretty wrong to use that as a basis for an understanding of gender and I’m just left confused.
Obviously I respect what people identify and express as but I find it hard to answer that for myself. If I don’t know what being a man means, is it right to still myself a man? I’m not sure, I still feel attacked when people call that way because of the past meaning it had for me.