Unspoken words are poison for relationships

Written by Lionir

I've written previously about honesty in relationships but I want to expand on this based on a conversation I had with a friend recently.

The creation of a masked persona is not the only consequence of dishonest relationships. Another consequence is a disconnect between your state of mind and their perception of it.

Of course, it's not possible for those to always be in sync. That said, the more things you want to say to someone and then chose not to, the more the disconnect widens.

It might be simple things like not telling them about some of your needs in a relation ("Why don't they ask me to do things with them? Why don't they start conversations?"), or it might be something more benign that simply annoys you ("Don't they wash? Can they not smell it?").

Overtime, these things will compound and you will start associating a lack of care with that person. You start thinking that they're doing those things intentionally, instead of potentially just absentmindedly.

In my mind, once those words are left unspoken, they start making you dislike that person, it starts tearing the relationship apart.

Now, this all sounds dramatic but maybe it will manifest that way. Maybe you'll just get tired of feeling like they don't care about you, and you'll just blow up in their faces. On the other hand, it can just be a timid push that just slowly unravels until you realize that you don't see that person anymore.

All this to say, communication is important. Do not skimp on it please.